Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
