he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
