Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Rumble strips road head = magical
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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