So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize