she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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