im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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