Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
