I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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