When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
