He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
