fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is wine microwaveable?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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