I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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