I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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