Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize