first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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