direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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