just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
