I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
