Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
