Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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