my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
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