you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
