Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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