now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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