So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
