Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
