Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Randomize