Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
