Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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