My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
