he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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