how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
