i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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