there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
