his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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