Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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