when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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