we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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