Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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