i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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