Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize