i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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