I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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