the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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