I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize