you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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