i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
