so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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