Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
