It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
