6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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