...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
