I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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