I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize