can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish you could order shots online.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
