reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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